Sigh

The picture is of Will running around in the Great Salt Lake at Antelope Island. He was having a grand time even though the place was swarming with sand flea things. Yuck.

The boys are both asleep at the moment which is wonderful and is becoming a rare event because Sawyer is starting to be awake more and more during the day. Unfortunately this leads to more and more run-ins between Will and Sawyer. When Sawyer was just sleeping all day he really didn't need much attention, which of course means more attention for Will. But now Sawyer wants attention more frequently and Will wants attention all the time leading to some friction. Yesterday I was sitting on the floor and Sawyer was laying in front of me kicking his legs and swinging his arms and just generally being a good baby. Will came over and looked at him for a second and then walked away and then ran back and kicked Sawyer in the head like he was trying to make a field goal. Sigh. Today I put Sawyer in his playpen so I could take a shower, naively thinking Will would watch Cars and leave him alone. Just as I got the shampoo in my hair I heard Sawyer screaming hysterically so I jumped out of the shower and ran into the bedroom only to see Will in the play pen jumping on Sawyer. Double sigh. Some days I think it will be seriously amazing if Sawyer grows up without permanent injury. I really don't know how to impress upon Will that he CANNOT hurt Sawyer. I've tried the time-outs (both in his highchair and his crib), giving Will extra attention, trying to convince Will that he is my special helper, and a whole lot of finger shaking and yelling, but I don't think I'm getting through to him. I gave him a good talking to after the kicking incident and tried to emphasize that Mommy and Daddy love Will AND Mommy and Daddy love Sawyer so that he wouldn't just feel like Mommy only loves Sawyer now and that is why he is always getting in trouble. Later that evening I heard Will talking to himself repeating "Mommy and Daddy love Will." It makes me sad to think that he is feeling insecure and displaced and jealous, but it also makes me really angry to see him kicking, poking, pinching, jumping on, and spitting on (yes spitting!) poor little Sawyer all while laughing hysterically like some little sadistic (yet still adorable) demon-child. Sigh.

Maybe there is hope afterall though...yesterday Will was once again getting right in Sawyer's face and shrieking and laughing and Sawyer looked at him and gave his first all-out smile. Of course, that first cute smile would be bestowed upon the one family member who has repeatedly attempted to accelerate his return trip out of this world.

So someday they'll be friends right?

Will is talking up a storm lately. He repeats everything he hears which makes you suddenly realize that a lot of what you say sounds terrible coming out of a 2 year-old's mouth. For instance I said that something was "stupid" (not even a person, just something!) and now everything is "stupid." Or I told Will his diaper was "nasty" and now everything that's not stupid is "nasty"--including most of what I give him to eat. Sometimes he says things that are pretty amusing. I put him in the shower with me on Monday and when we got out he went strutting out of the bathroom naked and said "Hm. Nice and Clean!" Later that day we went grocery shopping at Macey's and I let Will pick out a treat when we paid. He had eaten the whole thing by the time we got home and as I got him out of the car I said "Will, did you say thank you for your candy?" He looked at me and said "Thank you Wal-Mart!"...I said "Umm..no, that's not what I meant" and he thought for a second and then said "Thank you Macey's!" I asked him where he lived the other day (trying to get him to say Provo, Utah) and he looked over and said "Wal-Mart!" I said "Noooo" and asked again and this time he answered "Church!" So that pretty much sums up our life right now. Wal-Mart and Church.