Friday, April 20, 2007

Note to New Viewers

To anyone who clicked on my name on Michael's blog and ended up here allow me to explain the following.
- I made this blog to avoid having to retype identical e-mails to the many friends and family members who are more interested in my child than me. (I don't blame them- he is more entertaining) That is why it is about Will.
- I also made this blog because I have not scrapbooked/babybooked/or any other kind of booked a single page since Will was born--an unpardonable sin I know especially in Utah.
- I specifically try to avoid including much information about myself or family members other than Will because I think it is kind of creepy that someone creepy could be reading all about my life. Posting too much information online is just asking to be the basis for a "ripped from the headlines" episode of Law and Order. Dun dun. Plus I got in trouble when the internet first came to the Dickerson household for telling someone in a chatroom that I was an exchange student living in Paris-- Mom thought that was too much information. Please note: at no time have I ever been an exchange student nor lived in Paris.
- When Baby #2 comes something will indeed have to be done. Possibly we will just name him Will #2 and avoid the whole problem.
- If I were to give into the temptation of writing things not related to Will on this blog I can assure you they would consist of rantings about whoever has annoyed me lately. For instance: I ran into the grocery store to buy birthday candles the other day and was starving so I took a look in the deli counter while I was waiting to pay--which I thought would be faster than going to the registers at the front of the store. They had a bunch of bags which professed to be kids meals but all they had in them was a juice box, bag of chips, and cookies. Now this is exactly the kind of kids meals I would generally have preferred, but I thought to myself "Surely, they must come with a sandwich or something." But there were no sandwiches to be seen anywhere. So I wait in line behind an elderly couple who have both just ordered Kong Kones (which are soft serve icecream cones that contain about 1 gallon of ice cream each--all for the low price of $1.29--hurry down to the Macey's deli counter today!). So instead of making said ice cream cones the cashier girl just stares at the couple and the following conversation ensues:
-Cashier: Are you sure you both want Kong Kones?
- Man: Yes.
- Cashier: Cuz they're really big.
- Man: We know.
- Cashier: So you don't want to share or something?
- Man: No.
- Cashier to other deli worker: They both want Kong Kones.
- Man: What you don't know is there is a whole bus of people waiting outside and we're going to all just take licks off of it.
- Cashier (looking relieved): Oh, then that makes sense.
- Man: If you believe that then I've got a tv set to sell you.
- Cashier (looking contemplative): Hmm...I don't need a tv set right now.
- Man: laughs (clearly an "I can't believe how stupid this girl is" laugh)
- Cashier proceeds to make the two slowest Kong Kones in the history of the country. Meanwhile Erin is getting more than a little impatient. Finally man and woman both get their Kong Kones and leave. The following conversation ensues:
- Erin: Do these kids meals come with a sandwich or something?
- Cashier: Yeah.
- Erin: .........Well are the sandwiches somewhere or do you make them or what?
- Cashier: Oh yeah I'd have to make it.
- Erin: Well what are the options?
- Cashier: You can have peanut butter & jelly, or ham, or turkey, or roast beef.
- Erin: Ok, well then I'll get this and can I have a roast beef sandwich?
- Cashier: (after a 45 second pause in which she just stares at me) Actually, you can only get peanut butter and jelly. Sorry.
- Erin: (tosses kids meal back into deli cooler) Can I just pay for these candles then?
- Cashier: ......So did you want the kids meal?

Buying my birthday candles took like 25 minutes. Veteran readers may recall that I didn't resist writing about the housekeeping and security regulations at The Flamingo during our trip to Vegas last summer. But I try to keep these things to a minimum. If I ever ran for public office the entire Vegas casino industry and the Associated Food Stores network would be lobbying against me.

- Michael will be glad to know that Will's first words upon waking up today were "Church? Aunt Michael? Google."

3 comments:

shannis said...

I love your blog. I think this will give you a link to mine if you want. :-)
Shana

Michael said...

I wouldn't worry too much about a crush of new readers coming from my page. A big day for me is when 10 people read it, 6 of whom were searching for linksys routers on the google.

Babata said...

Hey Erin,
I hope everything is going well! I like your blog! It was fun to catch up on things!