Remix

I sent Will upstairs to find shoes and socks and just heard him singing this tune:
"You are my chocolate, my only chocolate, you make me happeeeeeeeeee when skies are gray, you never know deeeeeeaaaaarrrrrr how much I love you, please don't take my chocolate away."

In some ways maybe he does take after me after all

Bryce will probably tell you that in my house you are subject to interrogation. At all times. And anything you say can (and probably will) be used against you at any future time. Will is becoming pretty skilled in the art of cross-examination as well. Today he asked me to play Cooties with him. I told him we would play while Sawyer took his nap. A few hours later, Sawyer was asleep and Will and I were playing Cooties.
Will: Mom, did you buy me Cooties for Christmas?
Me: Umm...did you get Cooties for Christmas? (not remembering when he got it)
Will: Yes.
Me: I guess Santa brought it for you.
Will: You and Dad bought Cooties at Wal-Mart.
Me: (suddenly remembering that we bought Cooties at Wal-Mart shortly before Christmas while he was with us) Hmmm did we?
Will: So you bought it at Wal-Mart and then you took it to Santa and gave it to him and then he brought it to me on Christmas?
Me: --silence--
Will: So where does Santa live?
Me: --long pause-- Oh, I think Mom and Dad bought Cooties for you and then Santa brought you the rest of your presents.
Will: So you did buy Cooties for me for Christmas?

I am beginning to be seriously frightened by the thought of his teenage years.

He also spent an entire afternoon last week trying to convince me that he "knows it isn't really his birthday" but he "wants to pretend that it is his birthday" so can I please "make him a cake, go to the store and buy decorations and party hats, let him blow out candles, and open presents?" I think the funniest part of his plea is that it had to include party hats...because goodness knows it isn't a party without party hats.

Will's favorite threat for months has been that he won't invite you to his birthday party. Over the past few weeks he has moved to a new threat. Now I am told multiple times every day that if I don't do what he wants I "won't be his best friend any more."

Ten days ago Sawyer decided that he could say "Will." It is awfully cute. I put him to bed at night and he bangs on his bedroom wall and yells "Will....Wiiiiiilllllll....Wiiiilllll!" In fact, he has suddenly decided that he can say lots of things. These days we also hear "juice, milk, drink, treat, shoe, sock, mess, stink, wipe, potty, Mollie, Meggy, buckle, bottle, walk, Pop Tart, fruit snack, chip, dip, water, and choc (for chocolate). So clearly he knows all the important words. He also says "Daddy juice" which refers to Dr. Pepper. I guess he decided that he has kept his opinions to himself long enough.

I'm too lazy to go get my photo card and load all my pictures right now so I will catch up on the rest of the last couple weeks later.

Remember that time you were so mad you didn't sing the hymns?

Happy Mother's Day to the original Deb.
She has many talents.

She plays Guitar Hero.

She bowls.

She cooks.

She can read...and out loud too!

She entertains small children.

Happy Mother's Day Mom. [I can't figure out why blogger is underlining this.] [And then, just as suddenly it stopped underlining...note to self, blogger is possessed.]
Sorry we never got to church on time. And sorry we made you eat (and pretend to enjoy) whatever strange creations we came up with for your Mother's Day breakfasts in bed which were really get-back-in-bed-even-though-you-are-up-and-dressed-breakfasts. And sorry that now that we are old enough to perhaps cook something edible and act civil to each other we no longer live at home to help you celebrate Mother's Day (but really, aren't you glad we don't live at home?).

And on an unrelated note, when I put Will to bed tonight he told me that I was "the best mommy ever" -- so some times he really does make up for being three the rest of the time.

I'm going to count to three...

The last few days have not contained many of Will's finest moments. The first thing he said to me the other morning, after letting himself into my bedroom, was "Mom! You're not my friend anymore!" Yesterday he asked me "Mom! Why do you have to be so mean? Why are you such a punk?" Yesterday, when I told him it was time to clean up toys and go inside, he told me, "Mom! That is a lie. That is not the truth. If you keep saying that, you are not going to be part of our family ANY MORE!" Add to these about a thousand repetitions a day of "Mom! You're not nice."

Yesterday he took his MP3 player out in the yard and was swinging it around by the headphones. I told him that he was going to break it if he did that. So, of course, he kept doing it. Then he would let go of the headphones and watch the whole thing fly across the yard or onto the sidewalk or wherever. I kept telling him to stop and kept telling him he was going to break it and we wouldn't be able to fix it. He kept ignoring me. Then he walked up to me and held out the headphones which had fallen apart down to the wires and were totally destroyed. He wanted me to fix it. I told him I couldn't fix it. And then he threw a 30 minute fit. He rolled around on our driveway, front lawn, and under the neighbor's tree screaming. I put him in the house and he let himself back out to continue the neighborhood scream-fest. Meanwhile, Sawyer kept picking up the broken headphones and trying to give them to Will. Sawyer also laid down on the ground next to Will and put his arm over him and put his head on Will's shoulder. In response Will would throw the headphones across the yard and push Sawyer over.

Earlier in the day I stuck both of the kids in the double stroller and tried to do some shopping. Walking into any kind of retail establishment is a cue for my children to start screaming. Will was screaming because he didn't want to be in the stroller and Sawyer was screaming because Will would not stop picking on him. I think I'm pretty immune to screaming at this point, but I was getting a lot of dirty looks from the all-female crowd of shoppers. I was doing my best to just get done and get out of there so I gathered up my stuff and went to pay. In response to the not-amused looks the two cashier women were giving me I said something like "Wow, those two are something else today." They replied by staring at me with their non-amused looks. Then I tried to write a check and realized my hand was shaking.

Will and Sawyer's birthdays are in July. I was thinking the other day that I can't believe Sawyer will be 2 already. And then I was thinking that Will has been 3 FOR-EV-ER. Seriously. How is that child still 3? 3 has been a loooooonnnggg year in the world of Will.

I clicked on a few links today and discovered that other people have noticed this phenomena as well. Like this lady, also mother of a how-long-until-you're-not-3-year-old.

All that stuff you've heard about the terrible 2s? It is a big cover-up. So that the terrifically terrifying 3s will totally blindside you. Because if you knew about the 3s, they'd never make it past the 2s. So if your 2 year-old is driving you up a wall today, just know that...it gets worse. Don't say you weren't warned.

Will says...

Will picked up an old birthday card that he got last year and "read" it to his friend Sophie. According to him, it said "Dear Daddy Will, Always remember to have a birthday every year. Always remember to say thank you to your friends."

Will is a little bit obsessed with his birthday. Every day he tells me that I'm not invited because of some way that I've offended him, such as "Mo-om! Don't tell me to go to time out! You are NOT invited to my birthday party." or "Mo-om! Don't tell me to clean up! You are NOT invited to my birthday party." He has been doing this for months. Why do all little kids think that not inviting someone to your birthday party is the worst thing you can do to them?...hmm, come to think of it, I guess it is kind of traumatic to know there's a party and that you weren't invited. How do they figure that out so fast?

Two nights ago I put on my shoes and Will said "Where are you going?"
Me: Nowhere Will.
Will: Mo-om, I want you to go to a meeting!
Me: I don't have a meeting tonight Will.
Will: But I want you to go to a meeting.
Me: Why?
Will: I want you to go to a meeting.
Me: Why?
Will: I don't want you to stay here and bother me.

Apparently my son finds my presence annoying...I can't wait until he is a teenager.

And under the how-much-he'll-owe-me category...Will spent the 4-5 a.m. hour this morning screaming about 1. the things on the ceiling, 2. the people who were throwing things at him, and 3. the "wiggly" ceiling and floor.

Sawyer says: Mommy, Daddy, Mollie, something that sounds like "Boccckkkk" that I think is maybe "box," ball, peees (please), jooooce (juice), no, yeah. He also says a lot of words that all sound like "booooool" with kind of a swallowed L on the end...this word means ball, boat, bottle, balloon, and pretty much anything that starts with a B. Sawyer also says "dob dyte" which means, of course, "pop tart."

I was weeding in the yard today (it is Monday now...I'm adding to this post instead of writing a new one) and Will walked up to me and said "Mom? Chasing someone with a stick is called hockey."

Will was up from 5:50-6:20 this morning screaming that there were bugs all over him. When I told him to go back to sleep he started sobbing and saying "I don't want to go to sleep. I'll have more bad dreams!"...he really is terrified to go to sleep at night sometimes. His bad dreams will be the death of us both.