Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Things I'd like to do...

Update my blog...but typing one-handed is so very slow and tedious.

---I now interrupt this post to transcribe Sawyer's current rant: "It's like you're a big, mean bully. It's like you don't like anything of mine. It's like you're a big robber. It's like I'm about to cut all your hair off. It's like we should live in the jungle and roll around and get covered in dirt. That's what it's like. Would you like that? I wish you were never in our family. Cuz it's not very nice. So I guess I'm thinking I SHOULD put it on the wall. You shouldn't have said that because now I'm very mad. See? I guess I'll say You're Stupid. So I guess I'm saying that you're stupid now. I think I should say you're stupid now...since you were mean and I wasn't. You were mean and I wasn't. You just wouldn't leave me alone. So I guess I changed my mind...I'm not letting you go anywhere. Even not to my birthday. I guess you're not going to get to go to my birthday. I guess you're not going to get to go to my birthday. I guess I changed my mind...we're not going to do anything on my birthday. And William doesn't get to. Only Daddy and me. Only Daddy and me get to do stuff on my birthday I guess. I guess you're gonna just do stuff by yourself. And I guess, maybe, I should wob (rob) your computer. I should wob (rob) it. I should maybe just steal your money...YOUR money. Maybe I should just steal your money. Steal it. Maybe I should steal your money. Maybe I should just steal..(pause)...Anyways, there are no more robbers. None more. Cuz there's no more people that could hurt us. So give me my candy back!! Mom, will you give me my candy bag? Since I ate a swandwich...a piece of bread...that's all I ate. So now can I have my candy? So I guess I changed my mind, we're not going to West Virginia and do fun stuff. And I guess when you make me stuff I won't say 'thank you' - I won't say anything to do. I'll never talk to you if you act like that. I'll never talk to you. I'll never do annnnnnyyything. Maybe I should never let you do anything. Maybe you should still come to my birthday but you don't really get food. And only Daddy and me are gonna get to play games. I guess."

---- This had been going on for probably a good 5 minutes before I decided to start writing it down. And it is all because he made a "hand" by taping together some random scraps of paper and presented it to me as a gift and then said he was going to tape it to the wall and I asked him to tape it to the window instead. Of course, he responded by taping it to the wall and I told him he needed to take it down and tape it to the window. Cue rant. This is the type of diatribe I listen to all day every day from him. I love how he forgets what he is yelling at me for and switches to yelling at me to get his Halloween candy for him. And somehow Will gets dragged into the mix and is forbidden from attending his birthday party as well...because every disagreement ends with him uninviting me to his birthday party. This time he also decided we wouldn't go to West Virginia after all. We have never actually had any plans to go to West Virginia, but I guess now it definitely won't be happening. How it all relates to rolling around in the jungle and getting dirty is a question only Sawyer can answer.

Now back to what I intended to write down. Things I'd like to do...
1. Update my blog.
2. Take a shower without the sound of a screaming baby in the background.
3. Stand up without holding baby.
4. Sit down without holding baby. She's lucky I kind of like her, because this is a baby that likes to be held. As in will scream if she is not being held. No matter how long she has been sleeping and no matter how carefully I slowly transfer her to a bed/couch/crib/playpen and set her down and slowly remove my hands...she will be awake and screaming within 2 minutes. I don't really make any attempts to accomplish anything these days so it isn't too much of a problem - but a 30 minute window to shower and, say, use the bathroom would be appreciated.
5. Wear non-maternity pants. Seriously has been 10 weeks...feel free to go back to normal width now. And I had a c-section so no need for hip-widening in the first place. But they didn't get the memo.

Time to make the baby mad by putting her in her car seat to go get Will. Sawyer usually rants the entire way to the school and back about how "annoyding" it is to have to go get Will because he "was busy." It's just so unfair that he has to stop doing exactly what he feels like for 10 minutes out of every weekday afternoon.


JoandDoug said...

I love the free association going on here. Seriously though. Where do they come up with this stuff?!

Jenny said...

So much laughing out loud going on on this end as I read Sawyer's ranting. Hil-arious! And, please call the next time you take a shower...I would love to come over & hold your baby so you can have a quiet shower...or anything else for that matter!

M.M.M. said...

oh my gosh that was kinda hilarious. Remember how Sawyer loved my brother and made him his instant best friend?
Chloe was like your baby. That is why I cried a lot. We both cried a lot. But at least she is cute. She has that going for her.

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