Wednesday, January 25, 2012

1 point to the Mom

I think I beat my kids today. Not that kind of beat. I mean, I think I was victorious in a major battle of the wills. The wills of Will and Sawyer vs. the will of Mom.

We have a daily problem that strikes at 5 o'clock. The boys decide they want to eat. By this point in the day, they've already had breakfast, lunch, and snack (plus second breakfast and second lunch in Sawyer's case). They aren't suffering from undernourishment. Five p.m. hits and they start scrounging through the fridge and raiding the pantry and all the while I'm yelling "STAY. OUT. OF. THE. FOOD. Dad is going to be home and we are going to have dinner. Get out of the kitchen!" We do this every day. Including today.

Today: Will opens the fridge. I tell him to close the fridge. He stands there, fridge open. I tell him to close the fridge and get out of the food. Will takes out an apple. I tell him to put it back and close the fridge. He takes a bite of the apple. I tell him he has 2 seconds to put the apple away and close the fridge. He hides behind the counter and continues to eat the apple. I tell him to put the apple down and now he has to go to his room. He darts to the stairs, but not quickly enough to conceal that he has the apple hidden under his shirt. I tell him to get back down here and put the apple down and then get back up to his room and not to come out until dinner is on the table. Screaming ensues.

In case you are wondering why I didn't physically take away the apple at any point in this process it is because I was on the couch feeding the baby = my boys think it is total free reign time to do whatever they want because Mom won't get up and stop them.

So Will goes up to his room and screams and kicks the floor and cries and comes out every 2 minutes with a pathetic show of "Can I puhleeeeeaassee come down now?" I tell him he won't be coming out until dinner is on the table.

Meanwhile, Sawyer, lest you think he is innocent, has also been ignoring my instructions to stay out of the fridge. He has removed a cheese stick and is hiding under the kitchen table and cutting it open with scissors.

I would also like to note that I offered them both apples and cheese sticks when Will got home from school and they responded by pretending to gag and proclaimed these options to be disgusting.

Bryce gets home. Will is still howling in his room. I make dinner for us and set it on the table. Will's seat has a plate and the only thing on the plate is a suspiciously familiar apple that is missing several bites. Sawyer's seat has a plate with an unwrapped cheese stick on it. I told everyone to come to dinner.

Now I will admit that the expression of surprise, followed by confusion, followed by sheer horror that played across their faces was pretty much the best thing I've seen all week. Will cried. Sawyer screamed and shouted that he wasn't eating it and that cheese sticks are disgusting and that he wanted salad. He's an odd child. Will cried. Sawyer smashed his cheese stick with the handle of a toy gun and screamed. Will cried. Bryce and I ate our dinner and ignored them.

And you know what? They eventually stopped crying and screaming and ate. Will ate the apple that was now "disgusting" because the places he had already bit had turned brown. Sawyer ate the smashed cheese stick. Then Will made himself peanut butter and jelly and Sawyer got himself a plate of salad.

I think I won.

Like, I seriously beat them. +1 to Mom

And I once had to lick spray Cheez Whiz off of the back steps of my childhood home, so really, I think they got off easy. -10 to Erin


Trav and Ab said...

okay, seriously I laughed so loud Travis came in from the other room to see what was so funny. This is an all too familiar scene at our house around five o'clock. I am glad that someone else enjoys the sadistic pleasure of knowing that they got the best of their kids. I am seriously going to have to try that with Malana, at least until she catches on and starts pulling the ice cream out.

Anonymous said...

I want it to go on record that I was not the one who made you lick Cheese Wiz off the steps.

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