Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Nunchuk skills...

I just got home from World of Dance at BYU thanks to my little sister who gets free tickets to such things.

Going to these events always reminds me of my lack of skills. Why didn't I become a dancer? Then I could have had homework like "practice the cha-cha" and I could have married my dance partner and in our spare time we would do well-choreographed ballroom dance numbers in the kitchen. And we would never have to discuss the moral appropriateness of hunting. Why did I not do this?

Oh wait, I remember now. I did take dance lessons. And I was pretty terrible at it. I could lie to myself and say I was a cute little ballerina/jazz/tap dancer because my family was not (un)fortunate enough to have a camcorder during my dance days. So I could just sigh and wonder why I didn't keep it up. Except that a friend of mine who happened to be in my same dance class came from a family that did have a camcorder at the time. So about a decade after my dance debut I got to watch myself perform on video. And it was painful. My body does not bend. Except maybe at right angles. While the other girls gracefully plie'd their way across stage, I looked like someone suffering from spinal fusion. Think 4 foot tall Frankenstein's monster in a tutu. Which explains why my memories of dance class all revolve around the teacher going from girl to girl and trying to balance a glass of water on our backs as we touched our toes and then listening to her sigh and move on when she got to me.

That is why I didn't take up dancing. And quite likely any guy that I might have met in dance class would have been a little effeminate for my taste. And besides, the one time I did dance on stage they made me wear sequined underwear over my leotard which was just embarrassing. Who can concentrate on dancing gracefully when their underwear is on the outside?

4 comments:

Mike & Lauren said...

Thanks for the laughs! Dance costumes are downright humiliating, it's true. I don't think I knew you were in dance classes when you were little! Leanr something new every day. I am jealous you got to go to World of Dance! I miss Provo for all those amazing performances.

THE MORTENSENS said...

Luckily I DID get the dancing genes. My mom was the dancer you know. Oh wait. Just kidding. I forgot. That was my sister Liz. Yes, many similiar humiliating experiences, just add 40 pounds. My sister was Clara (aka the main lead) and I was...a candycane.

Anonymous said...

Any you could dance on the beach in the rain, too. Somehow, I can't picture Bryce doing that.

ZAC said...

HAHAHAHA! Great read. I could picture it all so clearly.