Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Another parenting milestone (parental discretion advised - contains descriptions which may be disturbing to some readers)

In my 3.5 years as a parent, I have made 3 calls to poison control and 0 trips to the Emergency Room. Well, I took Bryce to the E.R. last summer, but he's not a kid so that was not a parenting activity. Not too bad I guess. I could have done without the poison control calls, but considering how sneaky my boys can be I guess we are doing okay.

I had another parenting milestone today -- stitches. I was sitting on the family room floor basking in the sun that comes in through our backdoor every morning and taking some pictures of Sawyer. Sawyer has recently decided that he needs to wear a blanket tied around his neck like a cape at all times. He expressed this desire entirely through pantomime since he doesn't talk much -- those are some pretty impressive charade skills in my opinion. And it actually isn't a blanket. It is a piece of green fleece that I bought with the intention of making a blanket before Will was born. That didn't happen. And it kind of smells (a lot) because he wears it around the house all day and sleeps with it at night and it just hasn't hit the top of the laundry priority list this week.

Where were we? Oh yes, so I was sitting on the floor taking pictures of Sawyer the Super Snot-nosed Man and he came over and sat in my lap. After a minute he decided to get up and kind of rolled off my legs to the side, bonking his head on his little rocking chair in the process. I picked him up to kiss him and send him on his way and when I turned him over he had blood flowing down his face. In about 2 seconds it had flowed over his eyes and down his cheeks and filled up his ears. I carried him into the kitchen and grabbed a paper towel. I tried to hold it on his forehead, but he didn't like that so he kept shaking his head and trying to push my arm away. Meanwhile Will was following us around and getting a little freaked out: "Mom! What is that stuff on Sawyer's face? I don't like it!" I put on shoes and told Will to watch out the window and carried Sawyer across the street to my neighbor's house. Just so happens she is a nurse at the local hospital--this is the second time I've shown up on her doorstep. (Thanks Mary!) Fortunately she was home and she put a steri-strip on it and said she thought it was deep enough to require a couple stitches. Right as I walked out the door my friend Christa drove by. She agreed to take Will to her house to play so I wouldn't have to try to deal with him at the pediatrician's office. Fortuitous. Will was still acting kind of nervous until I asked if he wanted to go play and then he perked right up: "Yes! I would love to play! It's my lucky day!" (Have I mentioned that we don't get out much?)

Maybe now would be a good time to mention that I hadn't showered yet for the day and was still wearing my fleece pajama top which now had blood all down one arm. Sawyer was also still in the sweats he had slept in and still wearing his smelly cape. So we looked pretty lovely. Sawyer had stopped crying now that I was no longer trying to hold a paper towel against his head. I put him in the car and drove to the pediatrician's office. On the way I called Bryce and had him call the doctor to say that we were on our way in.

We walked in the office and Sawyer isn't crying but he has dried blood all over his face and ears, my shirt sleeve is covered in blood, and I'm carrying a blood-soaked paper towel. The girl at the desk says "Hi! What is the patient's name?" to which I replied "Well, we don't have an appointment. My husband just called in about needing stitches." I guess they knew who we were because her next question was for me to verify my address and phone number and to make sure that I paid the co-pay right then and there. As I'm trying to sign the receipt with one hand and holding my bloody baby in the other the girl says "Oh, did he cut his head?" Hmmm....blood-crusted baby, taped up head-wound, here for "stitches"...I'm thinking all signs point to yes. I know it wasn't life-threatening, but I still thought it was a bit odd.

By the time they took us back to the procedure room Sawyer just wanted to get down and run around. Unfortunately, he didn't have shoes or socks on so that wasn't really an option. He watched a cartoon for about 20 minutes while the numbing gel went to work and then the real fun began. The nurse held his head while I held down his arms and legs and the doctor injected some more pain meds and then gave him 3 stitches. The gel had numbed his forehead so that he wouldn't feel the pain med shots (or so I was told...we could ask Sawyer but I'm not sure he could pantomime an accurate response). Of course, he kicked and flailed and screamed bloody murder through the whole thing, but I think it was mostly just a freak-out response at being held down and having strangers try to do anything to him. Probably about the same way he'd react to a haircut. He was all smiles as soon as he got to sit up and the nurse gave him a sticker. He was so proud of that sticker. He made me put it on his hand (I'm telling you he can mime any desire) and he kept holding up his hand and looking at it the whole way home. A well-earned sticker my boy.

I have to take him back on Monday to get the stitches out and they say he'll have a little scar. I think it will make him look manly. And all super-heroes need an identifying scar right? Just call him Sawyer the Super Stitched Snot-nose Man.

(pictures to follow once I convince myself that my old card reader is not going to show up and to just go ahead and open the new one I bought which is sitting right here next to my computer)


M.M.M. said...

So, good. You can cross "stitches" off your list.
Numbing gell? Nice. I wish that was around when I was oh, 7. Don't they use that right before an epidural too? I just thought of that. Oh I think it is a shot, then a big shot. Anyway, no matter...moving on.
can't wait to see the picures of the smelly blanket. And the stitches.

JoandDoug said...

So sorry to hear about this! Poor guy. Sorry to you too! I'm guessing you didn't have a chance to make it to the scrapbook sale. I'm going to try to go tomorrow. Let me know if you want to meet up. I'll give you a call before I go.

Jess said...

Hilarious. I can hear the girls at our pediatricians office saying the exact same thing. And I'm right there with the not being showered thing. Sometimes in the afternoon I think - huh... I hope nothing happens that requires me going anywhere, cause I look and smell disgusting. :)