Should I be concerned?

We were driving somewhere the other day when Will said:
"Dad, where is that place we went to meet the ladies?"

Dad: "Uhhh...the bakery that we stopped at after your swimming lesson the other day where you got a treat?" (nice try Dad)
Will: "Nooo...the place we met the ladies."
Dad: "I don't know Will."
(pause)
Will: "Oh! I know! It was on Geneva!"
Mom: "Will, has Dad been using you to catch girls?"
Will: "Yes."
Dad: "Are you my wing man Will?"
Will: "No, I am not a wing man, you are a wing man."
Dad: "How many ladies did we get Will?"
Will (counts on fingers): "1...2....3...4.5.6.7.8.9...10! Ten ladies!"

Hmmmmm.

This was followed a few minutes later by "Mom and Dad? I know an angry animal....a chinchilla!"

Oooooookay.

Same car ride:
Mom: "Sawyer, what does a doggy say?"
Will (immediately): "Woof! Woof! Woof!"
Dad: "Will, let's let Sawyer try to answer this time ok?"
Mom: "Sawyer, what does a doggy say?"
Will (immediately): "He doesn't know. He's not really a smart guy."

Ahhh brotherly love.

The other day I could not get Will to stop watching t.v. in my room. I'd make him come downstairs and every time I turned around he had gone back up there and turned on the t.v. again. After about the tenth time I figured out how to switch our dish network to single receiver mode and then turn the whole thing off from downstairs. I waited for the screaming to begin. Instead I heard Will get up and walk down the stairs. He came and found me in the office and said "Mom? I decided not to watch t.v. anymore."

Way to spin that one kid.

This one's for you cuz

Also known as "Honey, this is what I do all day." Alternatively known as "A lesson in physics."

I think I am going to start renting my house out for field trips aimed at Physics 101 students.

Now students, observe how this home disintegrates into chaos before your very eyes. This is called entropy. Everything in the universe, and especially in this home, tends to go from a state of order to a state of chaos. Sit and watch it occur before your very eyes.

Now on to Newton's third law. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Let's examine the following equation: 1 clean table basking in the sun = one emptied kitchen cabinet. Now look for common denominators and simplify. The correct answer students is: clean = dirty. For each thing cleaned at least one thing will become dirty. Equal and opposite.

Yes, this really is my house. No, I am not even ashamed. My children can destroy a house faster than a hand grenade..and probably with more noise too.

This is why sometimes I load my kids in the car and wander aimlessly around Wal-mart for a few hours...just so my house can stay clean for longer than the usual 30 seconds after my children wake up. Sisyphus, I totally hear ya.

For our first contestant...

A quiz for my loyal reader(s?):

When I went to bed at 2 a.m. Tuesday morning I stopped as I usually do to make sure the boys were snugly tucked in for the night. When I peaked at Sawyer I could see that he was indeed blanketless, but in the dim light I couldn't tell which end of him was which. I reached down to find his head in the darkness and instead found a sticky puddle of:
A. melted popsicle
B. yogurt
C. vomit

Correct! The answer is C. vomit.

Today Sawyer slept for 19 of the last 22 hours. Then he perked up and asked for some food saying "Eh?" which is his word for everything. I fed him a container of yogurt and immediately upon finishing he:
A. grinned and clapped his hands
B. said his first words - "Thank you Mom, you are wonderful"
C. vomited

Correct! The answer is C. vomited.

After bathing Sawyer, I tried unsuccessfully to get him to go back to sleep. Meanwhile Will ate dinner and had a bath because he was jealous that Sawyer got one and he didn't. While I dealt with a no-longer tired but exceptionally whiny baby, Bryce put Will to bed. Two hours later we heard screaming and went up to find Will covered with:
A. liquid gold
B. magical fairy dust
C. vomit

Correct! The answer is, once again, C. vomit.

After changing sheets, having another bath, and getting Will put back to bed we had barely had time to sit down again when we heard more crying. We went up to find a very distraught Will trying to inform us through his tears that he had:
A. "won the lottery"
B. "vomited"
C. "pooped"

Gotcha there. The answer is C. "pooped" -- now things are really getting awesome.

We assured Will that he was not in trouble, got him cleaned up again, and put him back to bed. Sawyer finally fell asleep and was moved to his crib. Almost immediately afterward we heard more crying and went up to find Will sobbing while dutifully using a garbage can to catch:
A. butterflies
B. salmon
C. vomit

Correct! The answer is C. more vomit.

This is going to be a great day. There better be a bonus in my paycheck.

It's good to be connected

Thanks to my brother Michael who was in Chicago crunching the numbers...we knew about this about 3 hours before CNN announced it. And in my head I will forever hear "Your love... is lifting me higher doo doo doooo" when I think of it.
** The coverage I was watching on CNN had that song playing while it showed the crowd waiting for Obama to speak. I was of the impression that the music was playing over the speakers at the park, but maybe it was a CNN addition.**

This Halloween brought to you by Travelocity

Another Halloween has come and gone. I never even found my box of Halloween decorations this year, despite searching the crawl space for it on three separate occasions. Bryce re-organized (I should just say organized, since there was no 're' involved) the crawl space and the Halloween decorations appear to have vanished in the process. Spooky.

Last Friday night was the ward Halloween party which Will was ridiculously excited for. He had a great time and wasn't at all enthused about trick-or-treating...he kept saying he wanted to go to the party again. He is all about the social scene.

Will wanted to be Indiana Jones for Halloween. I made trips to 3 stores and still hadn't even found a khaki shirt, much less a leather jacket, fedora, and pistol. I asked him what he wanted to be if he couldn't be Indiana Jones and he said "Nothing I guess. I'll just be like this." Talk about guilt. I gave a list of about 1000 suggestions and everything got "No. I'll just be like this I guess." Finally, I happened to mention a robot and he was very excited. He said "I will be a RED robot and next year I will be a BLUE robot!" So Wal-Mart pulled through with a pair of red sweats and a trip through the hardware, plumbing, and automotive sections. Very relieved to avoid the imminent Indiana Jones meltdown. (And thanks Lauren for the light belt idea!)

Sawyer was the Travelocity roaming gnome. Yes, I've been watching the Amazing Race lately. Sawyer walks with his gut stuck out--I guess as a counter-balance for his (no offense my cute baby!) head so he had the gnome gait down already. Bryce wanted to know why we were using our child to advertise for Travelocity...but they gave him a college scholarship so it was worth it. Just kidding. That would be awesome though.

I took Sawyer out the day after Halloween and took some pictures since I didn't get any good ones on Halloween. I still need to get a few better ones of Will in his costume. By the time Bryce was able to get home from work, Halloween night turned into a bit of a rush just to get the kids dressed and out trick-or-treating. The weather was spectacular. Who doesn't love trick-or-treating in short sleeves?! Of course, trick-or-treating isn't the same if you aren't in danger of catching hypothermia because heaven forbid you desecrate your costume with a jacket or some such nonsense. I thought this would be the year when Will really caught on to the true spirit of trick-or-treating = go as fast as you can to as many houses as you can to accumulate as much candy as you can. Instead each house was a fifteen minute process with an additional ten minutes if the kind homeowners offered to let him choose his own candy. At one point he was crawling between houses for unknown reasons. Then he went through a phase where he had to do somersaults across the lawn before ringing the doorbell. After about ten houses he wanted to be carried. Maybe next year. Sawyer kept falling over when he tried to walk on the grass so he got carried the whole way too.

My sister Mollie called me the day after Halloween to tell me that Macey's was selling off their remaining candy at a dollar a bag so I ended up with plenty to make up for the lack of candy present in Will's bag for me to steal. It is always best to know someone who will call you upon finding cheap chocolate.

Sawyer's 15 month check-up was also on Halloween. Stop counting on your fingers...it is true, he is actually more like 16 1/2 months. I had forgotten that they usually do a 15 month check-up until I read an old blog post that listed Will's 15 month stats. So I guess my blog has some purpose after all. Sawyer is moving up in the world...he went from 3rd percentile in weight to 7th. His weight holds steady at about average and his head circumference holds steady at the 75th percentile. No comment....(lots of brains).

After the doctor's appointment I went to vote. For some reason I was unusually optimistic about the ease of the voting process which is why I ended up in line with no strollers and two free range children. Sawyer was worn out from screaming after his shots so he just wanted to be held. Will actually did amazingly well until he found an open door to the parking lot. Luckily the person behind me held my spot about 8 million times while I went to retrieve him. Will wanted to know what voting was so I told him that we had to choose a new president to be in charge of the country. He didn't say anything more about it until an hour later when we were finally going back to the car. Will said, "Mom, I want to be a voter." I told him, "You can when you are 18." He said, "I would choose you Mom. I would choose Mom or Dad." Why thank you. He later amended his list of endorsed candidates to include Aunt Mollie. (Will just walked into our office and said "You are the best Mommy in the whole world"...I think his praise has something to do with the fact that we put him to bed 2 hours ago and he knows he isn't supposed to get out.)

After voting I tried to run to the grocery store. Both kids had had it by the time I went to check out leading to Will grabbing candy bars and then throwing a huge screaming clawing teeth-gnashing fit when I took it away and said I wasn't buying candy because he was going trick-or-treating in a few hours. He kept climbing out of the cart to grab more and meanwhile Sawyer had also discovered how to twist around and get out of his seatbelt and was doing his best to pitch himself headfirst on to the ground. When I strapped him in tighter he took out his anger by grabbing everything the (oblivious) clerk was loading in our cart and chucking it out. That kid can throw canned goods a surprising distance. It was one of those moments when you feel totally helpless...like an out-of-body experience where you hope some mom will come discipline these children that have somehow appeared in place of your own. In the middle of the tantrums the cashier says in monotone "How are you today?" Ummm...what does it look like!

I sent Will to time out the other day saying, "You hit your brother. You are having a time-out." To which he screamed "NOOO! LIAR!!!" Not sure where he picked up that latest bit of vocabulary. He is also in to saying that he "doesn't care." It usually goes like this: "Will you are having a time out for not listening when I asked you three times to stop hitting your brother on the head with the wet towel. We do not hit." Will then sits on the step screaming "I don't care Mom! Anybody doesn't care!" It also goes the other way: "I do not want to eat dinner Mom! I care!" There is a possibility that at one point, after the thousandth time that Will told me he didn't want to stay in his room for a time-out because it was no fun, I may have told him that I didn't care and he had to anyways. So now he is sure to let us know when he cares or does not care.

We cut Sawyer's hair for the first time today despite my many protests. Sniff. Bryce was armed and threatening to use the clippers so I wielded the comb and scissors and did it myself. Bye bye baby hair. It would have been gone before now, but I convinced Bryce we had to leave it long to add to the gnome effect for Halloween.

Thank you for clarifying

Will: Hey Mom! Remember the other day when I called you an idiot?

Mom: Yeah I remember. That really hurt Mommy's feelings. That made Mommy really sad. That made Mommy feel like you didn't like her.

Will (shrugging shoulders): That's why I said it. Because I didn't like you. Because you were stupid. Sometimes I like you and sometimes I don't.

Mom: Well Will, I like you all the time. I like you every day.

Will: I like you all the time too right now. But sometimes I don't. That's why I called you an idiot.

The week in review

We finally finished our fence! The first time I let Will loose in the back yard I gave him a big lecture about how he had to stay in the yard and not try to get out and not touch the gate. About 3 minutes after his release I didn't see him anywhere so I opened the back door and called for him. He came running back from the direction of the gate and I said "What were you doing over there?" and he said "Just messin' with the gate and tryin' to get out." So clearly our talk did a lot of good.

The other day he went out in the freezing cold to do this:

Personally I would prefer to read inside, but whatever.

Sawyer put himself down for a nap. Yes, that is an electrical cord next to his mouth. It is the plug to an overhead projector to be specific. I bet you don't have an old school overhead projector...and up until my parents drove here bringing a Toyota Sienna loaded with wonders from their basement neither did I. He wasn't sucking on the plug...it just happened to be near his face. I promise. If he had been sucking on it would I really take a picture?

We went to the pumpkin patch. We barely made the last wagon ride of the night after sitting around for half an hour threatening Will that if he did not pick up all his "monies" (i.e. about 3 dollars worth of pennies) that he had thrown all over the downstairs he would not get to go to the pumpkin patch. It is always more fun to try to find pumpkins in complete darkness.

Are all 3 year-olds incapable of looking at a camera and smiling normally at the same time? Mine is.

We tried this shot about 400 times and this is as good as it gets. Will was unhappy because some little boy was throwing handfuls of hay at us. He must have been a sad little orphan child as there were no parents around interested in claiming him or regulating his behavior...not even when Bryce asked "Hey! Please don't throw hay at us!" in a rather loud voice.

Yesterday we went to the outlets in Park City. Unfortunately, good deals were few and far between--unlike screaming children which were plentiful and always near at hand seeings as how they were my own children.

And now for a word from Will....

Will is into saying that he "likes" things and people. The other day he was sitting on the couch watching a cartoon when he said "Mom? I like you." I said "What was that Will?" and without taking his eyes off the screen he pointed at me in the kitchen and said "I like ya Mom. I like ya and I love ya." This was much more appreciated than last weekend when he yelled "Mom, you're an idiot!" at me 3 times.

Pretty much every day I have to open the front door to let Dora and Diego in to play with Will. Dora and Diego always want to get every single toy out of the closet and they never want to pick up. They also request large quantities of fruit snacks. (Dora and Diego are cartoon characters should you be lucky enough to not already know that.)

Everything was either "totally awesome" or "totally amazing" according to Will this week.

Sawyer spread his own excrement all over his crib on four separate occasions this week. That was not totally awesome.

PS: This is my very own unruly 3 year-old at his first trip to the pumpkin patch 2 years ago. How did that happen?

Now with bonus pictures at no extra cost

After scowling at the forecast all afternoon I decided that today was the last chance to go up the canyon. Unfortunately, the canyon didn't get the memo. Most of the trees still aren't at their peak, but since they are looking to get a good dousing of snow over the weekend it would seem that they may have missed their chance to show off this year.

We wandered around Sundance for a little while. I wanted a nice picture of the kids. I got several pictures of one child who could not hold still long enough to take a picture and several of another child who could not stop whining long enough for a picture. It was an exercise in photojournalism I suppose.

My parents were in town for the weekend. We managed to get my mom sick so it was a successful visit. That was her punishment for coming all the way here and only staying four days. We also got my brother sick. That was his punishment for asking if he could come do a load of laundry. No one has been sick at our house for over a week, but we seemed to be the common denominator.

I mopped the kitchen floor today. Sometimes I even impress myself.

Bonus pictures: Remember how I didn't have any pictures of our trip to Connecticut this summer because I thought I would be buying the fancy-dancy camera and as it turned out no one sold said fancy-dancy camera any more? Well wait no longer. I stole some pictures off of my dad's camera while they were here.The mountain laurel bush outside my parents' front door. Mountain laurel is the state flower of Connecticut. PS.

Somewhere near the Massachusetts/Connecticut border.

The Pinchot Sycamore = the biggest tree in Connecticut.

I told you it was big.

At the beach in Connecticut.

Sawyer got to meet both the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans this summer.

I'm pretty sure he evolved from some other species.


On our 4th of July hike.

Double guh errrrrr

Just spent the morning on the phone trying to convince someone that they needed to bill our current insurance for the latest doctor's visit rather than the insurance that we haven't had for almost a year. Finally got put through to some lovely woman who, let's just say, probably won't be celebrating American Thanksgiving, who kept making me repeat everything and then informed me multiple times: "I can't understand you. You are like a robot."

Ooohhhhhhkaaaayyy.

Sigh.

Happy Equinox

(Yes, I know.)
PS: I am not an over-achiever like this weirdo. :-P

Nunchuk skills...

I just got home from World of Dance at BYU thanks to my little sister who gets free tickets to such things.

Going to these events always reminds me of my lack of skills. Why didn't I become a dancer? Then I could have had homework like "practice the cha-cha" and I could have married my dance partner and in our spare time we would do well-choreographed ballroom dance numbers in the kitchen. And we would never have to discuss the moral appropriateness of hunting. Why did I not do this?

Oh wait, I remember now. I did take dance lessons. And I was pretty terrible at it. I could lie to myself and say I was a cute little ballerina/jazz/tap dancer because my family was not (un)fortunate enough to have a camcorder during my dance days. So I could just sigh and wonder why I didn't keep it up. Except that a friend of mine who happened to be in my same dance class came from a family that did have a camcorder at the time. So about a decade after my dance debut I got to watch myself perform on video. And it was painful. My body does not bend. Except maybe at right angles. While the other girls gracefully plie'd their way across stage, I looked like someone suffering from spinal fusion. Think 4 foot tall Frankenstein's monster in a tutu. Which explains why my memories of dance class all revolve around the teacher going from girl to girl and trying to balance a glass of water on our backs as we touched our toes and then listening to her sigh and move on when she got to me.

That is why I didn't take up dancing. And quite likely any guy that I might have met in dance class would have been a little effeminate for my taste. And besides, the one time I did dance on stage they made me wear sequined underwear over my leotard which was just embarrassing. Who can concentrate on dancing gracefully when their underwear is on the outside?

Visions of his teenage years?

Will: Mom, will you pick me up?
(Mom picks him up. Will lays head on Mom's shoulder.)
Will: Mom, I got Smarties and ate them in my oven so you wouldn't see me.
(Mom looks over and sees play oven (i.e. tricked out cardboard box) full of empty candy wrappers.)
~
(Mom puts Will in time out and tries to ignore him and avoid eye contact.)
Will: Mom! I was looking right at you and sticking my tongue out!
~
Will: Mom, I will play you a beautiful song on the piano.
(Will begins banging on piano keys.)
Will (Singing): Chhrrriiissstttmaaasss. I want everything. I just can't wait. (Repeated over and over again.)
~
Will (as he is being forcibly hauled to bed): I'm in charge. I'M IN CHARGE.
~
Will: Dad, don't touch my lamp.
Mom: Will, that isn't very nice. Daddy gave us the money to buy that lamp for you.
(Dad touches lamp again.)
Will: Dad that isn't very nice.
Dad: What isn't nice Will?
Will: Touching other people's lamps.
~
Sigh.

Pack up the babies and Grab the Old Ladies...Everyone goes!

Catch up time.

We went on our air/road trip.
Day 1: We flew to San Francisco. Early. Thought the kids would sleep on the plane. Ha! They fell asleep as we were landing. Got picked up by my brother Michael. He drove us to his house in Sunnyvale. Went to check out Google - it being the place of Michael's employment. Will was thrilled to discover that Google employees have more toys than computers. At Michael's desk he found a light saber, a skateboard, and a cardboard fort. They also had a ball pit. And lots of snack bars and beverage coolers where everything is free. They also have a free gourmet cafe, but it being Saturday the cafe was closed. Then we went to lunch and thought about why we hate eating out with children. Then we went back to Michael's house with the thought that the kids might take a nap (yeah right) and Will played Rock Band and Asteroids for a while. After several hours we paid Michael (mostly...we'll get the rest to you shortly!) for his second car that we had flown in to buy from him and drove to the hotel. We stayed at the Santa Clara Hilton for $55 plus tax (thanks Priceline!). We went and got something to eat at In-N-Out and then planned to get back together with Michael, but the kids were already overtired so we just went back to the hotel. For unknown reason there was a fireworks show that we could see perfectly from our window. End day 1.
Day 2: We got up early and drove into San Francisco. We were worried about traffic so we wanted to leave plenty of time and ended up getting there 2 hours early for our ferry to Alcatraz. So early in fact that we waited in line to get on the ferry and when the lady checked our tickets she told us we weren't on that ferry and to wait for the next one. Alcatraz was pretty interesting, but Will got bored of the hour long self-guided audio tour in about 4 minutes. He did okay until the last 15 minutes when he started screaming like something possessed, which was rather conspicuous in a room full of silent people trying to listen to tour through headphones. We took the ferry back and wandered around Pier 39 until we found somewhere to eat. Will's behavior had not improved during this time so after eating we found a tiny playground and let him burn off some energy while we waited for it to be late enough to check into our hotel. Then we saw the sea lions and walked to the hotel. We stayed at the Fisherman's Wharf Hilton for $70 plus tax (thanks again Priceline!)...found out that to park at the hotel for 1 night was $36 (could have mentioned that Priceline!). The kids were asleep when we got there, but it didn't last long. After sitting around for a while we went out to take the trolley. This is when things turned into more of our typical vacation. The end of the trolley route was right next to our hotel. My mom had told me horror stories of trying to ride the trolley with my pregnant aunt and having people just rush in front of them and actually knock my aunt down and walk over her in an attempt to get on the trolley. That was 25+ years ago. Michael had assured me that now they had lines and it wasn't just a free for all so we figured we would take Will to ride a historic San Francisco cable car. There was indeed a line. A long line. We patiently waited our turn as the cars came about every 20 minutes. We were getting close to the front of the line and figured we had about 1 more car to wait and then it would be our turn. There was a little souvenir shop about 10 feet away from us so Bryce ran in to buy Will a little trolley car. As he was paying a second trolley pulled up right on the tail of the other trolley car that had just pulled out. The paying process was going slowly so rather than get on the car without Bryce, I stepped to the side and let people go past. By the time Bryce came out the car was completely full so we said "That's okay, we'll just wait for the next one." So we are now first in line. Yay, we can get good seats. About 15 minutes later a trolley pulls up. Now at the front of the trolley there are bench seats which face outward. These are the good seats. The bad seats are located inside of the compartment on the car where they smash about 30 people into an area that is about 5 feet by 6 feet. But we are first in line so we will get good seats. So once the trolley comes to a complete stop, Bryce heads around to the other side of the car for a coveted outside bench seat. After about 2 steps we hear someone yelling after us "Hey! You have to bring your strollers back here!" So Bryce stops to hand me the umbrella stroller to give to the employee guy. When he turns around the good seats are taken. So we head to the back of the trolley. Also taken. So we give up on "good seats" and try to go inside the compartment. Full. Meanwhile the employee sees the predicament that has occurred as a result of us stopping to give him the strollers so he says "Come on. I'll get you seats." So he looks down at the closest people and says "Stand up. These people are sitting there." Although he spoke quite clearly the people just stared at him and squished over to create about 2 inches worth of space which apparently Bryce and I and the two kids were supposed to sit in. The employee was in the process of again telling them to stand up when I said "Can you just give us our strollers back and we will wait for the next one?" The guy assures us that he will get us seats and once again tells the pretending-they-don't-speak-English folks to move. I was feeling like we were kind of creating a scene so I said again that we would just take our strollers and wait. The employee got us our strollers and demonstrated how when the next car came we should hold them out to act as barricades while we got on board. Please note: all the people in line can see and hear this whole scene. So we get off and stand in line (once again). We are first in line (once again). This time we decide we aren't going to lose this game again so we step out from the covered boarding area and stand a few feet up the sidewalk so that we will have faster access to the far side of the trolley when it arrives. After another 15 minutes or so a trolley pulls in. Before it has even stopped moving, the woman standing in line behind us darts out in front of the car causing the driver to yell "Hey! Don't walk in front of the train!" We, being obedient type of folks, stay put. Not this lady. She continues running and climbs on board the bench seat on the far side of the car. Our seats! (in case you didn't catch that). Not only does she sit there, she spreads her arms and legs out in an effort to save the entire bench for the rest of her party. We did, at least, get an outside seat...but I spent most of the ride thinking of the unkind things I wanted to say to that woman. Like "Excuse me Ma'am. Did you fail to notice that we were in line in front of you? Did you fail to notice that we have been waiting for 2 cars now because people pushed in front of us last time? Did you fail to notice that we are also dealing with a toddler, a baby, and 2 strollers?" or as Bryce said "Too bad the train didn't hit you." (No, he didn't say that to her.) To counter my disgust, I should mention that a lovely couple named Abby and Steve from Chicago stood on the running board and rode on the side of the trolley right in front of us. They talked to the kids and gave some restaurant recommendations. We spotted them walking a few blocks ahead of us about an hour after we got off the train and after a while they saw us too and waved and said hello. The world needs more Abby and Steves and less crazy trolley women.

Moving on. Our plan was to ride the trolley back to our hotel since we had gone quite a ways, but we wanted to check out China town so we started walking. And kept walking. Have you seen those pictures of San Francisco with the roads that go up hills at like 45 degrees? We were conveniently downhill of all of those hills and therefore walked up them...pushing strollers...I think I almost died. Will was throwing a temper tantrum because he kept insisting that Bryce let go of his stroller and "let it go by itself." No amount of explaining would convince him that letting go of the stroller would result in one long downhill roller coaster ride ending in death. We found the Chinese restaurant that the hotel had recommended and waited in a long line before having the inspired idea that maybe we could order take-out instead. Bryce went in and discovered that yes we could order take-out. Unfortunately they told us 10 minutes and it took more like 45. During which time Sawyer was doing some unearthly screeching and alternating between throwing his arms in the air while arching his back and throwing his entire body weight backwards into my face. I'm sure everyone was sad when we got our food and left. Please note crazy child in picture below. We couldn't figure out a good way to catch a ride back to our hotel so we kept walking. We walked through the Little Italy area and bought desserts and kept walking. We did eventually make it back to the hotel. Nothing fazes Bryce (I think he is one quarter Pack Mule), but I think my legs will never be the same again. We ate Chinese food and watched the closing ceremonies of the Beijing Olympics.

Day 3: We got up and walked down to Ghiradelli Square. I really wanted an icecream sundae for breakfast, but decided against it after buying a whole bag of chocolate. Should have gotten the icecream sundae. Still thinking about how delicious it looked. Dang. We went back to the hotel, loaded up, unloaded Will and went back in the hotel to go potty, and drove out of San Francisco towards Eureka, California. We crossed the Golden Gate Bridge (we must have been lucky because it was hidden by fog and I hear that hardly ever happens...) and found Highway 1 which goes right along the coast. I think possibly it should be renamed as Highway Vomit or the Motion Sickness Scenic Byway. I lasted about 30 minutes before I made Bryce pull over. I took 2 Dramamine (too bad they take about an hour to work) and then tried to survive the next 30 minutes until we could get off that road and find Highway 101. We drove through Humboldt State Park and saw some huge redwoods, but managed to drive all the way through it before realizing that there would never be a "you are now entering the park" type area...so all we did was drive through it. Well, Bryce did pull over and take a picture or two of Will with a big tree lest we have nothing to show for our redwood efforts. We might have turned around and gone back, but we planned to also visit the Redwoods National Park so we figured we might as well just keep going towards Eureka. We got into Eureka a little before dark and found our hotel. We stayed at the Econolodge for $50 (not so much thanks for that one Priceline!)...I'm pretty sure $50 was an increase over their regular nightly fee.

Day 4: In the morning we checked out historic downtown which has a lot of fancy victorian houses and old book shops and stuff. Then we loaded up and headed north. Again. We came across this fellow with his giant ox -Bryce and Will are sitting on his boot. We planned to spend the afternoon visiting Redwoods National Park (as previously mentioned). I guess we are suckers for signage because once again we expected some sort of "Welcome to the National Park...here is a map...here is all the cool stuff you should see...and don't miss the gift shop!" sign. After several hours of driving our atlas appeared to confirm that we had managed to drive through the entire park and were now some ways past the end of it. Hmmmm...I didn't think you could hide giant trees that well. After a bit of a discussion about the proper way to plan a vacation we stopped at the Crescent City visitor's center and went in to get some information. The visitor's center was staffed by two elderly women and Will immediately began telling them all about our drive from "EurekaCalifornia"(he seems to think it is one word) and finished off his little narrative by stating that "Mommy was yelling at Daddy in the car and driving him crazy." He always takes Bryce's side. See if I make you a Halloween costume this year kiddo! His little pronouncement is funny now, but wasn't really at the time. Everyone needed a break so we let the kids play on the nearby playground for about an hour. Then I dragged Will into the visitor center bathroom (tried not to make eye contact with old ladies) and told him he needed to go potty before we got back in the car. At which point I discovered he had already gone potty in his pants. Disgusting. I didn't even have the diaper bag with me so the only reasonable option seemed to be to throw the offending underwear in the bathroom garbage, clean Will up, pull his pants back on and take him out to the car to find some new clothes. Did I mention that as Will was telling the ladies about our drive, I had been signing the guest book? So I'm sure those ladies have a really high opinion of a certain family from Utah. After leaving the visitor's center we drove to Jeremiah Johnson State Park and saw some more giant trees. This park was the setting for a scene in Return of the Jedi--I learned that from a pamphlet. The kids were both asleep in the car and the mosquitoes were terrible so we just took turns taking a quick look around and posing inside of giant trees. Then we got back on the road and drove to Springfield, Oregon where Bryce's sister Becky lives.

Day 5: We visited the Eugene library, ate burritos at Laughing Planet, got an eclair from The Sweet Life Patisserie, and let the kids play at a park. The times the kids were playing at parks were the only times they were behaving so we saw several parks during our trip.

Day 6: We drove to the Oregon coast (more Dramamine for Erin) and after one false try found the ocean. Dramamine pretty much puts me into a coma so I dozed on a blanket while Will ran around on the beach with Bryce and Sawyer ate sand-covered snacks including a piece of pb&j sandwich that had fallen in the sand about 3 hours earlier that he dug out and popped in his mouth before anyone could stop him. Then we ate at Mo's by the water and drove back.

Day 7: We went swimming at a local pool and then ate at a Mexican restaurant. I stayed at Becky's condo with the baby while Bryce, Becky, and Will went and picked blueberries from a farm and blackberries from the side of the road. That evening we visited some of Becky's friends who have a few kids. Will was thrilled to see toys again.

Day 8: We searched out a store called Real Deals that I had heard about online. Sawyer was asleep so Bryce stayed in the car with him, but Will was restless so he came inside with me. The store had a kids play room so Will happily amused himself in there while I looked around. That lasted about 5 minutes. Then I heard him calling for me and answered him saying "I'm right over here." I turned around to see him running towards me with legs spread about 3 feet apart yelling "Mom, is there a potty here?" It was clearly too late for a potty so I went and got the diaper bag and herded him into the bathroom where I did my best to get the situation cleaned up. Disgusting. Note to self: limit quantity of berries consumed by potty-training toddler. I had forgotten to pack a change of clothes and we were on our way to the Eugene Saturday Market so rather than driving all the way back to Becky's condo we stopped at the nearest Wal-Mart and bought him new pants. Did I mention there is no sales tax in Oregon? Ask Bryce how much I liked that. We met up with the same friends as from the previous night and saw all the wonders of the Saturday Market. Never fear, the hippie culture is alive and well. Then we went back to Becky's condo and hung around for the rest of the afternoon before Bryce and I decided that we should run to the grocery store to buy some food for the car ride since we were leaving in the morning. The grocery store was right next to a dollar store and I thought it would be a good chance to pick up some toys to try to entertain Will during 2 days worth of driving. After some quick shopping we got to meet a firetruck...and an ambulance...and a police car, but you'll have to ask me personally for that story! Note to self: 2 places we can't return to- Crescent City, California and Springfield, Oregon.

Day 9: We got up, loaded up, and headed out. We had mapped out the most direct route on the atlas and planned to take a mountain pass even though I was afraid it would end up taking longer than staying on the highway that appeared to go up and around and avoid the mountain. The pass turned out to be a good plan and at the top of the mountain we were surprised to find huge lava fields. Don't you think they might have mentioned that on a map?! I just kept thinking that whatever mountain man first discovered that area must have been wandering along through the forest and then stepped out of the trees and thought "What the?..." There was an observatory you could walk up to that pointed out various craters and formations in the lava. I took Will up with me and there was snow whirling in the air which led to him declaring "It's snowing! Now Santa can bring me more presents!" I hope it doesn't snow very many times before Christmas. We drove the rest of the way to Winnemucca, Nevada and found the Red Lion Inn . . . which (at first anyways) was nicer than expected (thanks Priceline). We went to McDonald's for supper after Will saw it and asked to eat there and we said no and he very cheerfully said "That's ok! We can find somewhere else! Like another McDonald's!" He was so cheerful about it that we gave in and took him there. He played in the playground for over an hour and was joined for half the time by three 13 year old girls who humored him by playing hide and seek. When they left he yelled "Wait!" and ran out and gave each of them a hug and kiss. I think we need to have a stranger danger discussion soon. We went back to the hotel and told Will he could stay up late (thinking it would lead to him sleeping in the car the next day...ummm no, no it didn't). The kids finally went to sleep and in the middle of the night Sawyer woke up screaming. Sawyer never wakes up crying at night. Will always does. Never Sawyer. This night, however, Sawyer was screaming his little lungs out and would not be consoled. Bryce thought he might be hot so he took off the sweatshirt and pants Sawyer had been sleeping in. When Sawyer still wouldn't calm down I went into the bathroom and flipped on a light and saw some kind of bug bites on his stomach and back that hadn't been there previously. Draw your own conclusions. He eventually calmed down and went back to sleep in bed with us. Will also insisted on sleeping in bed with us. This was the only hotel during our trip which gave us a room with only 1 bed. When Bryce asked for a 2 bed room they told him that we had booked our stay through another company and had to request room assignments through them...even though our confirmation printout from said company says explicitly to speak to the hotel directly for things like bed requests. Upon returning home we also found out that my sister Megan and her new husband Chad had stopped at our hotel that afternoon before our arrival and left a note for us at the front desk, but they never gave it to us. (Megan and Chad were on their way back to Idaho after their belated wedding reception in California.) So the Red Lion Inn exceeded my expectations upon arrival, but had succeeded in disappointing by the time we left.

Day 10: We got up (not very early...since no one had slept much) and drove home. For unknown reasons, Will called me "Mother Duck" the whole way home. At home we found that my sister Mollie (who had been staying at our house while we were gone) had cleaned pretty much the whole house which we had left in a state of late-night packing disaster. Over the next few days we also discovered that she had cleaned our fridge and freezer and washed Will's drool-marked sheets. My brother Kyle had also managed to figure out how to change the batteries in our garage opener (a task we've been needing to do for at least 3 months). Someone had also put up streamers and had a vase of fresh flowers on the kitchen table (I'm guessing Mollie, but Megan might have been involved as well). I guess we should leave more often.

Roadtrip complete.

Pictures are on the other computer so I will have to add them tomorrow. Since getting back I have...not finished unpacking...and not accomplished much of anything really. We did go to the State Fair on Saturday. And I did almost succeed in ruining our printer. Whatever you might read on the internet DO NOT try to print directly on to freezer paper with a laser printer. Bad things will happen.

PS: The pictures from the second half of the trip are apparently, once again, on the other computer...so they will have to wait...some more.